| Swim-boys just like shaving legs | | Print | |
| Written by P.J. Mr. Thinks He's Funny | |
| Tuesday, 31 March 2009 | |
Recently a stunning announcement has shocked the swimming community. For many years it has been considered imperative to shave one’s legs before the final meet of the season, but recent statements made by some of the sports stars have led to questioning of this long-established piece of swimming folk-lore. As James-Paul Cumming, a senior swimmer at Grant High School, states ,“I never thought anyone would notice, but people started asking so I had to tell them something and that’s how this whole mess got started. It feels good to admit the truth: I just like to feel smooth skin down there.”
Many male swimmers are shocked by this sudden change of direction. Michael Phelps-recent host of Saturday Night Live, alleged “bad-decision” maker, and Olympic gold medal winner-commented “I’m glad that he [Cumming] had the nerves to come out and just lay it down like that because I would never have felt comfortable admitting to my sponsors that I had shaved my legs at a party for kicks. I’m not sure they could have accepted two bad-decisions like that so close together.” Others see this as a publicity stunt to sell newspapers or increase readership, claiming it is intuitive that reducing the amount of drag caused by leg hair would increase the overall speed of the swimmer. Long-time swimmer Jason Lezak, or as he has come to be known to most of America “the guy who swam the last leg on that relay in the Olympics,” has responded, “how could you think that swimmers would pay for a 500 dollar suit and then not shave their legs to make sure that hair doesn’t stick out.” When asked to respond to Lezak, Bob Bowman or “the guy who coached Michael Phelps,” shook his head and proclaimed, “sometimes men just feel the need to run their hand down their legs and feel the smooth, velvety skin of ultimate freedom.” This news has already spread into the world of fashion with many critics already proclaiming “swimmer’s leg” to be the hot new trend this year and some are wondering if “shaved is the new black.” The summer fashions have already begun to incorporate this ideal into their designs for shorts and Speedo has recently announced a new release of an old design known as The Speedo which according to their advertising campaign will help men “feel good: feel shaved.” When asked for comment, Cumming neither confirmed nor denied the rumors that he has already pre-ordered six of the newly released The Speedo including two in a color fashion magazines are calling a mix between hot pink and cotton candy pink. Gillette has recently revealed plans for a swimmer’s leg razor they intend to call the LegShaver9000 because of increasing demand for a razor that can “get around those hard to reach spots like ankles, knees, and the ever tricky back of the knee.” Feminists reacted positively to a new wave of men shaving as fashion, claiming, “it serves them right to feel the cruel burn of the razor and the sharp nick of steel for the long years of oppressi |
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